Within the SELF:

Religion means re-connecting. Religions were invented because people lost touch with themselves, and felt the need to reconnect. Many people were like lost sheep looking for a shepherd, and then when the shepherd (most frequently a self-appointed leader) would come and say, "Divinity comes from…" people would start to write it down. After many generations would pass, people started to believe that divinity came from within the books in which they were written. As well as, of course, the divine entity within these books, which is something "out there" that we cannot see, hear, touch, etc. Something that we need to have faith in, as there is no other way to believe in it.

How many scriptures do we need to understand that divinity comes from within each one of us? (One example: "The Kingdom of God is within you," taken from the Christian Bible.) Our inner power is given to us by the energy of the universe (The All, some would say; others would say God, Allah, Shiva, Kali, Rhea, "god/dess")... what we name it really doesn't matter at this point. Or, for those who see it as a spiritual, religious, agnostic, or even an atheistic point of view, our Higher Power / Higher Self.

Whatever happened to having faith within ourselves? Somewhere along the way, humans forgot about the divinity within themselves, a divinity that ultimately reaches out to all of the universe, as the universe and everything in it is pure energy. Since everything is energy at different rates of vibration, all energy (all things, matter, creatures, etc.), is interconnected. Therefore, when we find our own perception of divinity within, that is when we find "god/dess" ... and discover that "god/dess" is a symbolism, an ideal, that which the human mind cannot fathom. A metaphor for the interconnectedness of the universe, energy that all of us can tap into... i.e., "pray" and/or project our desires and needs to, as, ultimately, we are the ones that make it happen through the divinity, which is pure energy, within ourselves.

OK, so some will still call the energy within ourselves and throughout the universe by the name of their god/dess, and that is fine. I'm not here to argue the existence or non-existence of anyone's deity. I'm here to interject that, to me, it is much deeper than religion. It is about personal experience, about connecting with the divine within, achieving mind/body/spirit integration. Although some choose and/or need to have a religion to accept this concept, others do not. Religion, or lack thereof, simply it doesn't matter when we get down to the issue of each of our personal perceptions of divinity.

Humans have power struggles daily with strangers, acquaintances, and those closest to them. We don't just struggle for financial, physical, and emotional/mental power. Ultimately, what I believe after a life of searching for my personal answers to the never-ending questions of the spiritual how and why, we are not having power struggles over the things that we believe we are. Those "things" are only symptoms of what it is we are trying to obtain from others and from life. Rather, we are struggling to gain power by taking energy from others. We are essentially spiritual and/or energy vampires.

For example: How many times have you been around someone whom you generally like or love, and you had a seemingly pleasant visit, yet upon parting company you feel drained of energy, and you have no idea why? What happened? They played the role of the power struggle, and so did you, as each role is passive, aggressive, or some level between the two extremes, and they took or even stole your energy. It is an unconscious effort, we do not realize that we are doing it; but we are.

There are four basic roles in the power struggle; there are more roles that subtly reside in between, but these are the basics that we can look at... There is the "Poor Me" role, which is the most passive role, the role of the victim. In this drama, rather than competing for energy directly, the person seeks to win deference and attention through the manipulation of sympathy. This is the person who has mastered the Passive-Aggressive behavior, the one who very subtly gains one's attention by being ever so soft spoken and timid, quietly commanding others to squeeze in closer and desperately hang on every word. The Poor Me is most always a master at being a martyr. Next is the "Aloof" role, a slightly less passive dramatical control role. This is a person with whom we begin a conversation and realize that we can't get an actual straight answer. The person we are talking to is distant, detached, cryptic in her responses. We sense that we have to ask a follow-up question, even for the simplest of inquiries. Simply put, we feel we have to pull teeth to get any information out of this person. The perfect attention-getter! Then there is the "Interrogator," a more aggressive control drama, one that is pervasive in modern society. In this manipulation strategy, one uses criticism to gain energy from others. In the presence of an Interrogator, we always get a distinct feeling that we are being monitored. Simultaneously, we may feel as though we are being cast in the role of someone who is inadequate, or unable to handle our own lives. Last, there is the "Intimidator," the most aggressive control drama in the role-playing. We can tell when we enter the energy field of such a person because we not only feel drained or uncomfortable; we feel unsafe, perhaps even in danger. The world turns ominous, threatening, out of control. The Intimidator will say and do things that suggest she might erupt in rage or violence at any moment. She may tell stories of harming others or show us the extent of her anger by breaking furniture or throwing items across the room.

Some people fall distinctly and neatly into one role or another. Others may be both the Aloof and the Poor Me, depending on the situation, or the Aloof and the Interrogator, etc. Be very afraid of the Intimidator if you are a Poor Me, or if you yourself are very aggressive and are an Interrogator or also an Intimidator, as you will either be completely controlled, or you will be constantly in the middle of horrific fighting!

Why do we do this? Because somewhere along the way, we humans forgot about the divinity, the energy, within ourselves, and also the fact that, because the universe and everything in it is energy vibrating at different rates, divinity, however one chooses to perceive it, is all around us, and is there for the "taking," as the "supply" is never-ending. And I don't personally mean a god/dess as a living entity with a personality, etc.: I simply mean the wondrous energy of the universe. This can be scientific, psychological, spiritual, or any combination of any of the above.

So, the reason for humans and their power struggles, the reason for feeling drained, or empowered if you are the "drainer" during contact with another, is because we have forgotten about the divinity within ourselves that comes from the unlimited energy in this vast universe. Because we forget this, we don't know how to capture, possess, and use the energy that is readily available to us "for free," simply by learning to empower ourselves, by learning how to center ourselves and connect with the power of the interconnected energy of the universe. Therefore, we seek out the energy that is depleted from within ourselves, and most often we find it through interaction with other humans we are in contact with. Unfortunately, the closer or stronger the relationship we have with another human being, the more likely we will play the game of role playing or power struggles to gain the energy we need, hence draining it from others. Then there are some people that do this even more aggressively with less-known individuals, such as those that go to the extent of feeling the desire to have debates over the safety of the internet, with virtual strangers. But we still get that energy, that empowerment, that we so desperately need, simply by "winning" our argument, our struggle to be "right"!

I don't claim to know all the answers to the question, "Then, how do we stop struggling with others for their energy, and start connecting with the energy within ourselves and that which the universe is full of and offers to us freely?" I do know that love is a good start. (Don't worry, I'm not turning "hippie" on you! Just stay tuned, here...)

I have personally found that, when encountering someone who is struggling with me for power or an energy refill, if I am truly aware of the role playing, possibly even participating in it and no longer wish to play the game, I can stop it. If I "send them loving energy" voluntarily and of my own free will, and consciously make the choice not to play the role in the power struggle, there is a magnificent change in the interplay between myself and the other person. Rather than entering a power struggle, because I refuse to play along when I am consciously aware that a role playing game has begun, I choose to send energy to that person by focusing on them with interest, understanding, empathy, and love. I don't have to agree with their stance, I can still freely give them the energy they are seeking.

And guess what? I have found, when I consciously stop the role playing and power struggle and choose to send and give that energy to the person, the power struggle not only stops because they have just received what they needed, so there is no longer a reason for the role playing, but I feel myself also filling up with the energy that I needed.

Why? Well, we've all heard of the word "karma." Many people think it's a word reserved for the mystics, but all it means is "What goes around comes around; for each cause there is an effect." When we choose to give others the energy that they are feeling they lack and need, we in turn receive it. They give it back to us, or we at the least get it back from someone else, or simply from the never-ending supply of the universe itself. It's most often on a subconscious level, but it really does happen! I have experienced it, not only with loved ones, but also with virtual strangers! I'm not losing anything by giving that energy freely to another person, because I am simply "tapping" in to the energy source that the universe offers freely to me and to all living beings. I only have more energy to gain, and nothing to lose.

It works the other way around too. I have had instances when I realize that I am the one that is draining another of their energy and power because I feel low on fuel. And when I realize what I am doing, I stop, and I choose to send positive energy to that person. Then, rather than feeling even more drained, I end up feeling empowered, full of energy and vitality, even the divinity within myself. Why? Because upon giving up, literally sacrificing, the power I was trying to gain, I ended up gaining it after all. And, in the process, the other person did not become drained by me. Instead, they received the energy, love, and encouragement from myself, and in turn they sent it back to me. Most often on quite a subconscious level, but the exchange still happened.

Many people of religion would refer to this filling of energy as "receiving power from their god/dess," and that is fine for them. I personally don't see it as such, and there are many other atheists who do believe in the divinity, spirituality, and energy that is within ourselves and received from the energy in the universe that is there, waiting for us to learn how to connect to it and use it for our own benefit as well as that of others we come into contact with.

I firmly believe that every person that individually and positively projects to the "interconnected consciousness" is making a difference, and is contributing to the evolution of our species. Certainly on a spiritual, emotional, and mental level, but possibly extending to the physical level. After all, it is proven that our state of mind has a lot to do with our physical health and development, so maybe that would logically extend and have an effect on the furthering of the evolution of our species? (Just a little speculation and theory.)

People tend to say, "I'm only one person, I can't make a difference." Well, think about this: for every person that believes this decided to actually try to accomplish what they feel would make a positive difference in only their own lives, the effect would extend out to their children, parents, other relatives, intimate partners, friends; the list goes on. This is because we cannot help but extend to others we are close to what we are giving out. And for each person whose life is touched with this positive energy, they will in turn extend it to others in their life, and so on. It's all on a subconscious level, but it does happen. This world could indeed become changed, and in not such a long period of time! Think of these theoretical positive changes reaching out to the world leaders, the spiritual leaders, the monarchies, and, of course, the "little people" that make up the populations! It does only take one person at a time, because love, caring, compassion, and empathy extend out to everyone they touch, and it all grows. If all the hatred in this world has grown one person at a time, then think of how much the love can spread, too. Genuine love and caring begins with us, extending out to our family, friends, even strangers, who will in turn extend it to those that they are close to, and so on. One person does make a difference. I say that I'll start it with me. Are you willing to start it with you? Do it in the name of your god/dess, or do it in the name of compassion for our species. Do it in the name of whatever suits you. Just do it!

So you don't believe it? Try it! See for yourself if you, one comparative tiny speck of dust in this vast universe, would not make a difference in not only your life, but also in just one life of the people you are close to; and see if they, in turn, extend it to others in their lives. Do not take my word for it; try it for yourself. Conduct an experiment, that's what the scientists do to find answers to their hypotheses and theories, isn't it? I have a saying: "Don't believe what I tell you, do it, try it for yourself, prove or disprove it before believing it." That's how theories work.

How many religious people have experienced what I have described? How many agnostics, atheists, mystics, etc., have experienced this? Not only consciously, but subconsciously? Can any one religion claim this phenomenon to be its own? Of course not, because it's got nothing to do with religion, or lack thereof. This is an experience for the masses, it is for everyone: for the asking, for the taking, and for the giving. We don't need preachers to hand over the ability to give the energy of love, compassion, empathy, and care to others, nor to receive it. We don't need religious buildings to possess the power that we hold in our hands and in our hearts. We don't need clergy to tell us where to seek the power of love, because it resides inside of us from birth until death. All we need is faith in ourselves, and the ability to truly love and give of it freely. The rest falls into place! We humans have the ability to know the concept of love for a reason: to choose or not to choose to use it. We also have the ability to have faith, be it in a Higher Power, or in ourselves.

Look back on incidents when you have interacted with others, and stopped power struggles by feeding others what they needed and were seeking from within you, because they did not know how to receive it from within themselves and from the infinite energy supply of the universe. Perhaps you were the one seeking the energy from someone else, and either you or the other person stopped, and intentionally focused on sharing the divine energy rather than each struggling to gain all of it from the other person. Maybe you didn't notice the actual voluntary exchange of energy, the literal focusing on the other person rather than your own power struggle, be it a passive or an aggressive one, at the time that it happened. But perhaps now, if your mind is open to my theory, you can look back and see the exchanges?

I know many would disagree with my theory... but I have found it to be true in my life, my reality, my experiences. I am not perfect, I do not always remember to pay attention to the power struggles, and I therefore do still find myself caught up in the role-playing. But, I try to keep on top of my role-playing, and when I notice it I stop it by sending positive energy to others, as we all desperately need it. And in return, I am filled with the very energy I send out freely. It's all give and take, but the taking should always be a gift, never stolen.

After much spiritual soul searching, this is a conclusion I "stumbled upon" not very long ago, so of course the conscious effort to stop the power struggles and simply let the energy flow between myself and others rather than fight for it is still fairly new to me. (As they say, old habits die hard!) However, the saying "You can't teach an old dog new tricks" is not true. We adults may need more time and effort to learn new strategies, lessons, and methods, but we still have the ability to learn them, and apply them to our lives.

Furthermore, and possibly most important of all, as we learn our new habits and techniques, we need to focus on teaching them to our children, so that they may grow up with the concept of sending love, care, and empathy with intent to others as a habit without any hard effort, and know the divinity within. This way, our children will possibly grow up to be adults that don't have the constant power struggles that we adults are so used to having that we've just become numb to it all, and they will have faith in themselves, whether they choose to have religion or not! (After all, one can have faith in one's religion, and still have faith in oneself simultaneously!) This not only benefits ourselves, it in turn also benefits the people we come into contact with, and just as much!