Twelve Questions for Pagans

Hi all.... I just came across this little set of questions while browsing a Web Circle of one of my favorite Pagan sites (The Guardian's Home Page: http://www.geocities.com:0080/Athens/Forum/3567/), as I surfed through the Web Circle, this page, with these questions, made me pause and ponder.... thought I'd post them here, and answer them for myself.

(Therefore, of course, the bold text is the questions, and the non-bold text is my reply to each.) Maybe some of you will wish to ponder/answer these questions, as well. ;-)

1) Who are your Gods?
My God/desses are nearly all there are/were (barring patriarchal, gods that repress ourselves as a collective) combined, as they all not only originate from one source so so so long ago, but also because different god/desses just "come to me" for different reasons/intentions.

2) Can you show them to another?
I cannot physically show them to another, nor "prove" their existence, as no one can with any god/dess. I can explain the concept of my spirituality and my Greater Power, and how the metaphors can be applied to my life here and now. ;-)

3) Did you chose them or did they chose you?
I believe that my Greater Power chose me, because although I never had a name or even a path that I consciously knew of, since I was a young child as I studied and learned about the philosophies that I (try to) live by, I didn't just decide to follow my primary philosophy and ideal of deity.... rather, the more I read, the more I said to myself, "WOW, that is me!!! This is what I've always thought of the universe, I just never had these words to put my spiritual thoughts to!" I felt as though these principles were written for me, or sent to me, or even BY me in a past life!! So, I would have to say that my Greater Power chose me.

4) Do you know their names?
During ritual, I sometimes use names of different god/desses that I just intuitively feel are "appropriate" for me to request assistance from.... however, when I refer to my Greater Power, I call him/her/it "The All".... this is what the Hermetics of Ancient Egypt and Ancient Greece called him/her/it, and my primary philosophy/spirituality is Hermeticism; although I am a true eclectic, and whatever works for me, works! (OH, BTW.... it is very difficult to find writings about "true" Hermeticism -- "true" meaning of the ancient Hermetics, the ones who wrote The Seven Principles of Hermeticism, which are the best seven principles I have ever found and integrated into my life! Please, if anyone knows of such writings, aside from "The Kybalion by Three Initiates" which I already have and refer to frequently, PLEASE contact me at spiritualosophy@hotmail.com, I'd appreciate it so much! OK, back to topic now....!!!)

5) How did they introduce themselves?
The All introduces itself to me in so many ways.... simple, complex, obvious, elusive.... I never know how or when or why The All will show itself to me. Coincidences, I am sure, are sent to me by The All. Intuition, visions, creative bursts -- The All shows itself in everything I do, think, feel, am.... that's the beauty of it -- I am part of The All, because The All is everything!

6) What is your relationship with them like?
Honestly, that depends on each day, and the relationship I have with myself each day. If I love myself, it's easier to love my god/dess, because I am grateful. Sometimes I am angry with my god/dess. But most often I look to my god/dess as a parent figure, who guides and comforts me through life.... I love my god/dess, and I know that this love is reciprocated.

7) Do you only interact with them on holidays, like distant relatives?
I interact with The All every day.... not a day goes by that I don't mention or in some way or another communicate with The All. It isn't always in the form of prayer or ritual, as some would envision. All I can say is, if I interacted with my relatives (unfortunately even my not-so-distant ones) as often or as well as I do with my Greater Power, my family would be very close-knit indeed!

8) Are they your Gods or those of dead people from cultures you were never a part of?
Both, I'd say. Of course the concept of The All began with dead people from cultures I was never a part of, or at least not in this life, because I am not an Ancient Egyptian. But since I have kind of a Pantheistic and/or Humanistic view, which is that the All isn't a deity that has a personality, etc., but that is the total encompassment of the universe.... then it is my god/dess, and everyone else's for that matter -- or I should say, everyone else that chooses to follow the kind of path that I travel, as there are so many roads to take on the journey of life.

9) Do you talk to them or do you read speeches to them?
Not necessarily, not as in prayer like with many other religions. I refer to the "voices in my head," or the conversations I have with myself be it consciously or subconsciously, as the voice of my god/dess speaking to me.... especially when the conversations pertain to decisions of any kind.

10) If your Gods were other people what would they think of how you treat them?
Even during times of anger, I treat my god/dess with respect and reverence. Nothing and no one could compare to the All, and I never take my anger or pain at my god/dess out on them.... rather, I question the All, as in "why this or that" or how things can be made better, etc.

11) In what voice do your Gods speak?
Good question! One of "my" voices, I guess, but since I've always had one particular voice of authority "in my head" that I know now is my god/dess, and since I have always heard this voice speak to me, I know that, although this voice is indescribable, it is definitely the voice of my god/dess. And I don't mean like a fanatic that says, "I heard (their god/dess' name) speak to me!" kind of thing, either! I just mean the voice of reason, logic, love.... this is my god/dess' voice. (Sheesh! Confusing, I know, but that is a hard one to describe!)

12) Why do you call yourself pagan?
Easy answer (very short version).... Because I simply am!!
Hard answer (very long version;).... I had a very versatile religious background growing up. My mom had Christian beliefs, although she wasn't a church-goer, and furthermore she raised me to explore myself and choose my path rather than forcing any beliefs on me. (Although now, she doesn't "approve" of my spiritual beliefs, although she's only "nit-picked" at me once, saying that she felt my "weird spirituality stuff" and my jewelry was "blasphemous" which cracked me up since she has referred to herself as "agnostic" for the most part of years now!) According to Hebrew law, I am a Jew, because I am the daughter of a Jew (my mother), because she is the daughter of a Jew (my grandmother of course, who was a Jew not only by ethniticity like myself but also practicing). I am proud of my heritage (my great-grandfather escaped Berlin "by the skin of his teeth" and made it to the U.S. during, of course, the Holocaust, which is another story;), but I don't know much about Judaism, unfortunately. Anyway! My dad's family is Catholic, and I did go to church with them here and there, but Catholicism is not for me. My family has Lutherans, Mormons, Nondenomationals, Fundamentalists, Pentecostals.... the list goes on! To the best of my knowledge, there are no Muslims or Buddhists, etc., in my family. But, I don't know my biological father's family very well, I just started getting to know them this last year, and I am now 30. Needless to say, I had a diverse background, religiously. But, I just didn't "fall for" any of it. None of it made sense to me, I never "felt" God's presence in my life in any way, and I am not a person that can believe in something that I cannot physically see or touch, or at least witness scientific proof of or reasoning about. Therefore, I have called myself an atheist since I first heard the word and definition, which was when I was around 6 or 7. Technically, although I am pagan, I still consider myself an atheist, because the literal definition is non-belief in a deity, as an entity, which I do not.... as I stated above, my concept of Greater Power is a Pantheistic or Humanistic view, in that it is the combined power of all of the energy in the universe, blah blah blah. SO!!! I lived my life with this view, and then about six years ago, upon reading some anthropological studies, I came across the word "pagan" a few times. I wasn't sure what it meant, but somewhere deep inside just felt intuitively knew that I somehow related to the word. Then, when I first got onto the internet, I went into a few witchcraft chat rooms, literally as a curiosity thing. (Oh, I should say, I've been studying and working with Tarot for about eight years, off and on now, since I was 22, so I was already "dabbling" in the occult. I am not an "expert" at Tarot in my eyes, and I'm just now getting back into really studying it again -- not just books, but through my inner self.... I use Tarot as a psychological tool I also should state briefly, because I just don't believe in "fortune telling" in the sense of the phrase -- our destinies never remain the same, because we make decisions all the time, and of course there are always factors beyond our control and actions that take place, constantly changing what is called our fate. However, this will be in my journal in posts to come, as I am preparing to start writing about my emotional, psychological, and spiritual meditations on each of the 78 cards any day now....) Well, I immediately learned what the word "pagan" meant, and I thought to myself, "This is me! This is who I've always been, I just never had the words for it!!!" I ate up books for three to four years, and so frequently repeated the above exclamations to myself, over and over. I don't read many books about the Craft, etc., anymore, save ones I come across now and then that catch my attention such as studies on the Sacred Traditions of Ancient Egypt, or anything I can get my grubby little hands on about Ancient Hermeticism, etc., but (at the horrible risk of sounding pompous, because I consider myself pagan with reverence and humility!) there just aren't many books in print anymore that reveal much in the ways of training.... they all say pretty much the same thing, with slightly different viewpoints, of course, and although I do not consider myself an "expert, master, adept, elder" or such, I do consider myself "above and beyond" these published lessons. Which ALL leads up to.... I call myself pagan because it is me; who I am, what I think, what my spirit whispers (and sometimes screams) at me! Some days I perform ritual/prayer, some days I don't.... but it's still there in me, not just a part of me but all of me.

As the All is everything, I am part of the All, and I cannot nor do I choose to ignore that.

(Thought you'd get short, simple answers to such deep questions, from me, the rambler, the person who feels so deeply and passionately about everything in my life be it big or small, positive or negative?!?!?!?!?) {grin}